the days when i am strong, i am very strong. the days i can stay away, reaching out is not an option. the strength that comes from within is sturdy, steadfast, immobile.

there are times -- momentary lapses of reason, i suppose -- when the urge to reach for my...have been so strong, so overwhelming, it is a miracle i can stand up.

how do addicts do this? how do they face their demons head-on and tackle them around the ankles and say "i am victorious over you!" claim the victory?

how is it that i do not feel you, Lord?

~~~Isaiah 578

I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.

For I will not contend forever,
Nor will I always be angry;
For the spirit would fail before Me,
And the souls which I have made.

For the iniquity of his covetousness
I was angry and struck him;
I hid and was angry,
And he went on backsliding in the way of his heart.

I have seen his ways, and will heal him;
I will also lead him,
And restore comforts to him
And to his mourners.

~~~
please let it be so according to your word.